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02 October 2011 @ 12:18 pm

Finally got through these pages. I keep hitting creative walls.
There's a sex scene ahead, but you can skip that if you want
(because good god, it was awkward to write).
Feedback is horribly appreciated. I know there are a few of you reading Stranger Things,
and I'd really appreciate any kind of response. It's nice to see who's following this story.

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: Portishead - Humming | Powered by Last.fm
Joanna: garrett - outsideartdecadence on October 3rd, 2011 11:20 am (UTC)
Qurl I love you. XD

One thaaaang, when you said the sun was peeking between the curtains you spelt it 'peaking'. I see no other errors though, so I just thought I'd point that out. ONTO REVIEWING OMG.

The sex scene was really tastefully done and I could really see how it would be on a screen and ajhdfjgfdgjhg!

The door then slowly opens. Matthew doesn't peer through the crack between the door and the frame; he simply stands straight and stares at the man in front of him.
I love love love that! I like how it says a lot about his character :D

"Because I still have no idea if this is a dream."
I love that line but I feel it gets a bit lost in the dialogue? It seems like it should be the last line in a scene or something, rather than just in the middle of the conversation. It's awesome though :'D

Awkward phone conversation + Joel cooking sjkhdsjhffdg!

The kiss is simple and chaste, yet far from the basic peck.
Uguuuuuuu *-* I love everything XD
And how Joel is just so nonchalant I love it I love it I love it XD

 ambrosia.: matthewjoel | orange&bluexine_ishiguro on October 3rd, 2011 07:05 pm (UTC)
I went in and fixed that in the actual script; I'll have to replace the image later today. Thanks for pointing it out ndfhjfdjkdfh

I had a really hard time with the sex scene because I don't... write... those... and I was having a hard time figuring out how to present it so thank you asdf

Yeah, I was having difficulty with that line because I wasn't sure how to advance the conversation. This is just the first draft, so there will be a lot of changes when I go through the entire thing again after it's completed.

Awkward conversations galore! They're all over this goddamn thing.

♥ ♥ ♥!